y friend Justin has lazy good looks and razor-sharp intelligence. Well-employed, he’s up-to-date on current events, wry, and knowledgeable. He’d be a wonderful date, except for one little catch. Whenever he meets a cute, eligible female, he freezes like a deer caught in headlights. His throat chokes up, his forehead becomes a sprinkler, and his impish sense of humor heads for the hills. To Justin, prospecting for romance is an exercise in terror.
Most of us suffer from shyness to a degree, but for some folks, it’s paralyzing. Justin’s case of nerves derails romance before it can even get out of the station. Sadly,
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| Most of us suffer from shyness to a degree, but for some folks, it’s paralyzing. |
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attractive women who might want to date him are only shown the awkward shadow of his charming, best self.
Here are five strategies that may work for you:
Collecting no’s
The best salesmen understand that success is a numbers game, and that only a tiny percentage of pitches result in a sale. They expect to hear many no’s from potential clients before they receive a yes. Top performers gain confidence knowing that every attempt brings them closer to success.
Focus outside yourself
It’s easier to meet new people if you can genuinely share a mutual interest and focus on your new companion. Be a great listener, share your passions, and enjoy the moment.
Reward yourself
Motivate yourself to post your profile and correspond with singles online by setting up a reward system. For every new person you browse or email, you might treat yourself to a favorite TV
show, or a manicure. Pick a reward that works for you. Experts say it takes a month of regular practice to make a new behavior into a habit, so start now and keep at it. Soon it will feel comfortable.
Visualize success
Each night as you’re falling asleep, shut your eyes and picture yourself as a confident, poised person who likes talking to new people. Feel the calm, happy sensation and enjoy their natural attraction to you.
Keep perspective
When it seems like your entire romantic future depends on one new dating prospect, it’s bound to unsettle even the bravest warrior. So keep things light and in perspective. Yes, it would be fabulous if this new Romeo or Juliet accepts your advances. Yes, you’d be terribly sad if they don’t. But the unvarnished truth is, you’ll survive either way. With hundreds of available singles online, there are plenty more chances at romance. Guaranteed. So go ahead and take your best shot now.