By Margot Carmichael Lester

August is National Self-Improvement Month, so why not observe the holiday by investing in yourself? After all, the better you feel about yourself, the better others will feel about you. And the more attractive your life becomes, the more others will want to be a part of it.

Take a class, break a habit, plan your future – and do something to start making it happen. It’s a great way to stave off the summer doldrums and get ready for fall.

Class Act
Continuing education is a great way to improve yourself. You could take a course related to work – or the work you’d like to do later in your life – but don’t overlook recreational educational opportunities, as well. If you’ve always been interested in photography, take a class. Fancy yourself the next Savion Glover? Find a dance school. Or take a class that improves your inner life and physical well-being, such as yoga or Tai Chi.

“Classes that provide opportunities to learn anything, anytime, anywhere in a way that is cost-effective, efficient and convenient are the most popular,” says Leslie Oja, director of education at Argosy University in Seattle. “Examples may include balancing stress (since we live in a stressful world), time management, working collaboratively, better communication, learning about a special interest, or learning for self-awareness.”[$MSN.ARTICLE.CTALINKS$]To evaluate a course offering, Oja says to look for these elements:

• Knowledgeable and accessible instructors
• Stated course outcomes
• Standards for identifying the benchmarks of learning
• Assessment methods you understand and are comfortable with
• Opportunities for student feedback throughout the course
• Student-centered learning — your needs come first
• Practical application of material
• The right level of challenge

Centered Self
Another way to enhance your assets is to work on your mental and emotional self.

“No one comes into my counseling office because things are going well,” admits Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of several books, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (New Page Books, 2003). They come to me with relationship problems, sexual problems, communication problems, stress, depression, procrastination and grief.”

What do all these problems have in common? Emotions.

“Solving problems, whether in your relationship or within yourself, usually involves resolving and communicating feelings,” Tessina counsels. “Over and over, I see people who are afraid to find out what they feel, lost about what to do with feelings, and mystified about how to communicate them.”

Working on your own or with a therapist, you can become more comfortable with your feelings and learn to share them. According to Tessina, this will enhance:

• Your mood — knowledge of and comfort with our feelings encourages optimism
• Your sexual performance — most issues with sexual dysfunction involve suppressed feelings
• Your relationships — couples who feel comfortable sharing feelings tend to have more intimacy

So whether you take a class, enter therapy, invest in personal growth or engage in some other self-improvement activity, bettering yourself can better your chances at romance. “Understanding oneself is the key both to understanding your romantic partner,” Tessina concludes, “and to helping him or her understand you.”