By Rachel Greenwald

Many of us have had those dates—the ones in which you know early on that the person across the table isn’t The One. Maybe it’s a blind date or someone you met online… or someone you could have sworn was a riot at that party last weekend. All you know now, though, is this is not what you expected (or hoped). Even with your rosiest glasses on, it’s just not gonna happen between you two. But there you are: Stuck at the dinner table or coffee bar for at least an hour, trying to be polite and get through it. A waste of your time? Absolutely not! Below are four ways to make a seemingly doomed date pay off:

1. Play detective
Ask questions that may give you ideas about singles activities, parties, places you might not know about. For example, ask “What kind of activities have you done to meet single people in this town?” He or she might mention a group or event you’ve never heard of—something you could try in the future.

2. Get feedback
Perception is reality. Do you really know how you’re perceived on a date? Take this opportunity to get some answers, even if his or her opinion is not one you’d normally seek (you never know whose comments might be insightful). Try asking, “I’m always trying to learn how people perceive me on a first date, when two people don’t really know each other and tend to draw fast conclusions. What are your first impressions about me, and is there anything you think I should be aware of?” If this direct approach is too bold for you, try this: “What are the three best and worst things that someone has done on a first date with you?” This question is less personal, while it still allows you insight into what is valued (and not valued) by prospective dates.[$MSN.ARTICLE.CTALINKS$]3. Practice your dating skills
Use this opportunity to test-drive some tricks in your romantic repertoire. You know that funny story you heard last week at work? Try it out on this person, the way comedians practice their material. See if you can tell the story with flair, so you’ll have it down pat next time you’re on a great date. Or, perhaps you’ve been thinking lately that you’re not very good at flirting? So try a flirtatious comment or gesture (such as lightly touching his or her arm) to get comfortable with it. Of course, be careful not to lead your date on! But the pressure is off here, so feel free to experiment.

4. Try for set-ups
Even if sparks aren’t flying between you, this person might be a great match for your friend—or you for one of your date’s pals. Remember, everyone has a single neighbor, single office mate, even a single teacher in a child’s kindergarten class who might be right for you. If you remain polite and engaged in conversation, you might get a fix-up with someone intriguing through this person. First, try hard to think of someone you know who might be interested in your date and then make the first move to set things in motion. Say, “You’re great, but I think we’re realizing tonight that we don’t have a lot in common. But I have a friend at work with whom you might really hit it off. Would it be too awkward if I put you two in touch?” By remaining pleasant and offering to set your date up first, you are primed for him or her to reciprocate one day.

If passing the buck during the date like this seems too awkward, try keeping this person on your Evite list for parties and outings, happy hours, work drinks, or softball teams. First, of course, you should probably clarify your agenda with a gentle, “I don’t see a romantic future for us, but I think you’re great and would love to hang out sometime—in fact, I have a feeling my friend Stacy/Sam might really like you, and we’re having a park picnic next weekend. You should come!” Even if your subtle set-up doesn’t end up working out, this person might feel so indebted to you for all the group invites, you might even get a bonus fix-up down the road. Who knows?

Remember, bad dates are all part of the dating process that leads to finding your mate. So the next time you’re stuck, instead of trying to make meaningless small talk or asking quickly for the check, use the strategies above to make the experience pay off for you one day.

Rachel Greenwald is the author of the best-selling Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School. She is also a dating coach and matchmaker. If you would like to ask Rachel a question, please visit her website at findahusbandafter35.com.

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Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.