By Alan Goldsher

When it comes to The Opening Line, the online garden-variety opener is vastly different than its face-to-face counterpart. There are certain phrases and/or thoughts that may work in a bar, but don’t work in cyberland, i.e., “That dress looks amazing on you.” Or “Come here often?” Or “I lost my phone number — can I have yours?” (Come to think of it, you shouldn’t use that one in any situation.)

I’ve wooed and hung out with a number of cool women on russellgrant.match.com, and I attribute most of my success to my ability to concoct a good opener. Being the nice guy that I am, I now offer the teeming masses a few tips on how to make that first cyber play:

Tip #1: Be funny, silly, and original
Comedy is, of course, a subjective thing, but you might try something along the lines of, “Ohmigodohmigodohmigod, your profile is the best profile ever! Okay, maybe not the best profile ever, but the best one I’ve seen this month. Okay, maybe not the best one I’ve seen this month, but the best one I’ve seen in the last five minutes.” (I think that’s pretty good, but like I said, comedy is subjective.)

Tip #2: Really read her free profile
You should not template your letters; she’ll be able to intuitively tell if you’re sending the same note to everybody on the site. Pick one aspect of her profile that intrigues you and run with it. For example, if she’s written, “I’m a huge music fan,” lead off with, “The Beatles. Public Enemy. Tony Bennett. Eminem. These are a few of my fav-o-rite things.” If she’s written, “I’ll try anything once,” you write, “Well, Ms. I’ll-Try-Anything-Once, I will try anything twice.” If she’s written, “I’d love a man who would give my flowers on our first date,” answer, “How ’bout I give you flowers on our first date… and our second date.”

Tip #3: Feel free to use sexy and/or romantic talk… but keep it subtle and sweet
Throwing some sugar into the mix can at once intrigue and entice. When choosing this route, it’s a good idea to check out her list of turn ons. If she digs public displays of affection, for example, try, “I will hold your hand when we walk through [insert your favourite romantic park]. I will walk down [insert your favourite romantic street] with my arm flung over your shoulders. I will give you gentle kisses on [insert your favourite romantic form of public transportation].”

Tip #4: Be confident, but not cocky
Every woman will tell you that she wants a man who is completely sure of himself, so be confident, but temper it with, say, an extended metaphor, so as not to scare her off. Try, “I am cool. I am ice. I am the North Pole. Did I mention that I’m cool?”

These, of course, are just starting points. Pick and choose what approach works best for you. But in the end, the most important things are to be respectful, to be classy, and to be yourself.

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