By Debbie Magids, Ph.D.

Open school night. Those three words can either make your child beam with pride or make them want to run for the hills and hide.

The pressure of the teacher meeting the parent is sometimes too much to for your kid to bear. You, on the other hand, look forward to parent-teacher conferences because, for starters, you are finally the parent! It’s not your head on the chopping block any more! You are anxious to have a meaningful conversation with an educated adult and gain insight into your child’s academic and social progress.

Your kids are extremely important and you want the best for them, so you approach the night with the typical parental concerns. You think about what the teacher might have to say about their academics, their behavior, their friends and their overall performance. However, as you approach the room with the anticipation of a good report, you start to realize that you are much more nervous than you should be. You rationalize that your child has been doing fine all year. Sure, there are areas you know they can improve in, but nothing out of the ordinary. However, the closer it gets to your appointment time, the more restless you become.[$MSN.ARTICLE.CTALINKS$]And then, as soon as the classroom door opens, it all makes sense… you look up and remember how attracted you are to your kids’ teacher.

Sure you’re a parent, but you’re also a living being, and you can’t help how you feel. All of a sudden, you’re a school kid again with a big fat crush.

Now, this could be harmless, depending on your intentions. If you are happily married and simply find the teacher attractive, then no harm is done. It’s always okay to look (but not to touch). However, what about when it’s not that simple?

If you are not in a happy marriage, or divorced and the teacher is available, flirting may begin (for both of you). Mr. or Mrs. Jones may be just a teacher to your child, but to you, this gorgeous adult has become the source of your desire. You may long to act upon your emotions — or you may just enjoy the flirting and want to see where that takes you. Regardless, this has become a “situation” for you, and it will eventually become one for your child as well.

The bottom line is that your priority has to be your child. Even if you both are available, interested, are the right age, and both really want this — you have stop and think about how your child is going to feel. Think about the repercussions for your child if you date a teacher. This is the person your child learns from and gets graded and evaluated by. This is not the person who should be sitting at their dinner table and kissing you.

Parents, you need to put your kids first here. At this stage in their development, fitting in and staying within the “norm” is very important to them. Dating your child’s teacher could be very hurtful and harmful to all parties involved, including you; think about what would happen if you broke up. What would open school night be like then?

If at all possible, try to keep your dating pool out of school…

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Visit Debbie Magids, Ph.D. at www.drdebbiemagids.com.