By William D. Hicks

May-December romances proliferate in the media. Look at Ashton/Demi and Jack/Lara. In the straight community, they seem to be fodder for gossip. But in the gay community, they seem to be accepted more readily. I’ve known many a man and woman who dated people ten years their senior. I asked them why…

1. Nancy, 40, dating Linda, 24. “It’s all about energy. I like women her age because they’ve got this enormous energy to do things, to save the world, to get things done. I’m more energetic than most women my age. Linda and I clicked when we first met. So we started dating. She’s on the go 24/7, just like me. Yet she isn’t a partier like other women her age. I just love her energy.”
2. Ted, 28, and John, 52. “Why do I date older guys? I like their stability. They’re secure in their jobs and their lives. They’ve put down roots, like John. He doesn’t want to go out clubbing every night. He’s not into the rage scene. Maybe it’s a daddy complex, but I don’t care. I’ve always thought older guys had something to offer that younger guys didn’t.”
3. David, 43 and Brian, 25. “I don’t think it’s so unusual for older guys to date younger ones. From my perspective, it has to do with what’s out there. Older guys have done the gay scene, they’ve done the partying, the one-night stands. They want something more. And then there are those younger guys who are more mature than their years. Take Brian, for example. He’s not a partier. He goes to church every Sunday. Hell, he even has a German Shepherd dog. That’s responsibility. He loves and cares for that dog like it’s his own child. He can’t be irresponsible and still take care of his dog. He was looking for someone settled: Luckily for me, I came along.”
4. Jenny, 22 and Carol, 52. “I guess I was tired of all the women my age who were kind of hardcore. Women who thought they knew what life was about, but were too young to have experienced much of it. Carol, well, she’s been married and had kids. She’s come out to her family and she’s okay with herself. She’s from a different generation, but she’s grown. Carol’s a strong woman, but she’s still feminine. Maybe I’m just looking for someone to shed some light on life and help me find my way. It’s not as hard nowadays as it was when Carol realized she was gay. Still, it’s hard doing it all alone. So other than being my lover, Carol is also my teacher and my best friend.”

In the long run, it’s not about age, it’s about how two people relate. In the gay community, it’s taken us years to be accepted by the straight community. And we’re still working on this acceptance (vis-