By Margot Carmichael Lester

Sure, you’re looking for love, but are you letting love look for you? Are you sending the right signals? How can you be sure you’re setting yourself up to meet Mr. or Ms. Right? Take this fun quiz to find out.

1. A positive mental attitude is key to attracting a good date. Which color best embodies your attitude?

• Black. How can I attract a date if I’m never going to have one—ever! (Score = -1)
• Purple. I’m still livid about my last relationship. (Score = 1)
• Blue. I’m down on dating. (Score = 2)
• Green. I’ll be ripe enough to date before summer ends. (Score = 3)
• White. My mental attitude is a clean slate. (Score = 4)

2. You’re invited to a summer singles event hosted by your house of worship. You:

• Stay home. Nobody will talk to you anyway. (Score = -1)
• Pray for rain. Why should everyone else have a good time when you’re so miserable? (Score = 1)
• Reluctantly agree to attend, even though you’re sure you won’t meet anybody. (Score = 2)
• Go, but plan to leave after 30 minutes if you’re not having a blast. (Score = 3)
• Go with gusto, thinking the man or woman of your dreams might be in attendance. (Score = 4)

3. You meet a potential date and immediately:

• Run. (Score = -1)
• Whip out a laundry list of deal-breakers and get ready to see how this person stacks up. (Score = 1)
• Worry that he or she will see every one of your flaws immediately. (Score = 2)
• Wonder if you will be this person’s type and whether your values will be in sync. (Score = 3)
• Look forward to getting to know this person better; this could be a good thing!
  (Score = 4)

4. When it comes to dating, you:

• Don’t bother. (Score = -1)
• Expect to get burned. (Score = 1)
• Are willing to settle. (Score = 2)
• Keep hope alive. (Score = 3)
• Understand what you need in a relationship and have faith that you’ll find that. (Score = 4)

5. As far as you’re concerned, the purpose of dating is to:

• Make me feel worse about myself. (Score = -1)
• Remind me that love hurts. (Score = 1)
• Help me figure out what I need to improve about myself. (Score = 2)
• Try to beat the odds and find someone who loves me. (Score = 3)
• Learn more about myself and what I want in a relationship—and to find someone with whom I can share that experience. (Score = 4)

SCORING
Less than 0: You poor thing! You’re so down on yourself and on dating that even if your dream date found you, s/he would need a pick-axe and night goggles to dig you out of your cave.
TIP: Start by making a list of your unique attributes and other aspects to love about yourself. “Be loving toward yourself and others,” notes Susan Piver, creator of TheHardQuestions.com. “This doesn’t mean being sappy and sweet. It means be present and attentive to yourself and others while setting your own agenda aside.”

0-5: Whoa. You need some help with anger management, my friend. You’re holding on to so many bad feelings that anyone wanting to date you would need body armor.
TIP: “Remind yourself that bad relationships are your ‘soul-mate boot camp’,” says Jill Spiegel, author of The Flirtologist’s Guide To Dating. “They prepare you for healthier relationships. Surround yourself with positive friendships. Take steps every day to re-build your self-esteem. Make a list of what you learned about yourself from the last relationship and how it made you stronger and wiser. Write a soul-mate list of what you want your next relationship to look and feel like.”

6-10: Worrying about not finding someone may actually be keeping someone from finding you.
TIP: “Don’t look for a lover—go look for a friend,” suggests Debbie Mandel, author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul. That takes you out of the “dating” mindset and helps leave your baggage behind. “You’re not pressured when you date a friend, and you know that your date is already interested in you—and that’s a great confidence-booster.”

11-15: All you need is a shot of self-confidence and love will be more likely to find a path to your heart.
TIP: Practice being friendly and starting positive conversations, Spiegel suggests something like: “Isn’t it a gorgeous day?!” “This opens your world, connects you to others and builds confidence. Join ongoing co-ed activities like sports clubs, volunteer groups, etc. You’ll meet like-minded people and form solid, trusting friendships, which could lead to romance.” And don’t overlook activities offered by your house of worship as a great mingling spot where you can hone your conversational skills.

16-20: Congratulations! You’ve got a great attitude and are doing everything you can to help love find you. It’s only a matter of time till it does!

Margot Carmichael Lester is a freelance writer in Carrboro, NC. She writes the Dating & Personals’ “Ask Margot” faith-based advice column and is the author of The Real Life Guide to Life After College.