True of the 18th century, and just as true in the 21st century. But even more painful and frustrating is paying debts that aren’t yours, such as those of your partner, which can lead to arguments, betrayed trusts, break-ups, and bad credit ratings.

You may have found yourself in a situation similar to this: When you first got together with your boyfriend, he paid his share, but soon you were paying for the majority of the dinners, movie tickets, DVD rentals and cover to nightclubs. You and he moved in together and your phone, electricity, hot water, and grocery bills increased, and the money in your wallet steadily decreased.

You start thinking about it: Had your boyfriend paid his share of the phone bill, or did you cover it for him? “Just this time. I’ll get it next month.” Ah, you did. And then you realize that “I’ll get it next month” is becoming a regular occurrence. [$MSN.ARTICLE.CTALINKS$]You’ve inherited your boyfriend’s debts. But how did that happen… and how do you get out of the situation?

The snowball effect
You may be sitting there thinking, ‘How stupid, I’d never let that happen to me.’ It’s easy to be objective when it isn’t happening to you, but it’s a common occurrence. When emotion gets involved, common sense (and “knowing better”) get tossed out the window. What makes it even more difficult is that it is often a snowball effect: It begins with you covering his cell phone bill, but soon becomes major payments on his credit card.

The solution? A pair of scissors. (And no, not to bring the homicide detectives knocking on your door, even if you think your boyfriend has driven you to that.)

Spending together
This is the most obvious situation that gay men experience. Unpaid bills swell as the wardrobes expand. Gay men are known for their passion for shopping, so when two gay men don’t manage their money well together, debts can become overwhelming.

The solution is simple, but not easy. Getting control over your spending habits, and learning to save, can be very difficult for those of us who like to spend. Speak to a financial adviser, or see if there is a nearby community group that meets and discusses ways to handle finances.

Joint finances
This can be a tricky area. Often, short-term and long-term couples get financial agreements together: Co-signed bank loans, joint credit cards, and joint bank accounts. The important thing to remember here is that if you sign financial documents, both of you are liable for any debt-collecting. If you break up and one of you doesn’t make the payments, it becomes the sole responsibility of the other partner. (Sometimes gay men have signed contracts where they have not realized they are the sole applicant.)

Be wary!

A few things to remember:

• Only sign contracts if you have read the “fine print.”
• Don’t get joint finances unless you both have stable incomes and are in a committed relationship.
• Be very careful of joint credit cards; these are often hard enough to manage when there is only one person making the purchases, not two.