n poker, a tell is the life and death of a good hand. It’s the way you look, the way you act; it’s what tells the other players that your hand will clean them out or make them rich. Understanding someone’s poker face is important to dating, too, since there’s always one thing you can depend on: Everyone has a tell.
Do a posture check
Posture is the easiest tell to spot. If your date is slouched in a chair, he or she may be a little too relaxed. This could be an indication of many
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| Show your confidence by standing tall and straight without looking like a toy soldier. |
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things: boredom and disinterest; a bad back; borderline narcolepsy; one too many beers (or something else); or just plain old bad posture. On the other hand, tense, rigid posture can reflect uptightness, anxiety or perhaps a little too much concern over who’s picking up the dinner check. The secret: Show your confidence by standing tall and straight without looking like a toy soldier.
Harness that nervous energy
Waving one’s hands or rubbing them together often during a conversation may be a sign of nervousness—which is understandable on a first date. However, a lot of knuckle popping, nail biting, and hand wringing may be signs that your date is either totally distracted or consumed with anxiety.
Check facial expressions
A furrowed brow and a frown obviously raise alarm—and usually mean
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| Correctly interpreting body language can be a boon when you’re out on a date. |
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you’ve got to do something quick before your date makes a fast escape. It’s much harder to read more subtle facial expressions. Frequent eye contact, a relaxed expression, and attentiveness to what you are saying usually mean your date is definitely interested.
Watch the hands
A combination of extreme facial expressions and hand movements is bad news, at least for me. I appreciate passionate speakers, but when the limbs go flailing about, I sometimes feel I should duck and take cover or risk losing an eye. Personally, overly animated people make me feel uncomfortable because I think they will find me boring if I don’t respond in kind.
Correctly interpreting body language can be a boon when you’re out on a date. It shows you’re willing to put forth the effort to communicate—verbally or otherwise. With practice, it’s easier to recognize other people’s tells. The hardest part is being conscious of your own.