So listen up here Virgo, we see by the light in your eyes that you are a pure soul who has incarnated on this planet so many times, it is ridiculous. We know that you will remain young looking to the end of your days too, because you are “connected” to the “light” and the earth under your feet. Yet, we ask but one thing of you, as you read your Virgo horoscope for today, please try not to wrinkle your brow and lapse into agonizing worry. We know the pipe has burst, and trying to find a good plumber is like seeking a needle in a haystack. We know that the bills don’t add up and your love has left hairs in the sink, again, but please don’t fret. Instead, take up knitting, quilt making or even advanced mathematics so you realize that everything in your life can, and will, “add up!”
We know how irritating life can be when you want to read that Virgo horoscope for today and someone and we won’t mention who, has misplaced the Daily yet again. But we also know that any Virgo “worth their salt” idolizes their lover so much they are even willing to nag them to bring out their very best – few would do that! So you see, Messrs Virgo, it is not worth being blue about all those lost horoscopes, especially when you are undeniably bright, fill in your tax returns so perfectly and are dynamite in bed? Tick here please!
Virgo Pet Hates
We realize your current lover has more flaws than you, who hasn’t? We realize that your search for purity of thought, word and deed might have driven even Mahatma Gandhi to violence. We know you are prepared to bow down to true love and ask little of it, other than that it melts your steely heart and picks its socks off the floor. (That steely heart that can be so sensitive and sweet, yet still finds it hard to choose the right Valentine’s card).
Even if your lover left such a mess in the shower you need “mouth to mouth” resuscitation at the thought of tidying it up. Even if you bought ear plugs after your secretary’s emotional outburst – you had simply pointed out she had a lipstick stain on her collar. Even if you start reciting a mantra when others recount horror stories about ugly ex lovers, even when your own lover burnt the toast and accused you of being paranoid because you pointed out their lack of culinary skills, we know you will be kind in the end, because you are a Virgo intent on reading that Virgo horoscope for today to anyone who will listen with the purest concentration and awareness.
So what if you are a member of Mensa, your “now ex lover” shrieks as they crash out the door, leaving you heartbroken. So what if you always paid bills on time, so what if you tidied up drawers to perfection, you are still a nag, you are still unbearably pedantic and you could drive All Saints to drink with your penchant for those dots on the “I’s” and full stops after every staccato sentence you utter, they bawl.
Really they never understood you did they? They never understood the depths of your soul, how bothered you are about the global financial situation, even how you would have died for them, nursed them in their old age and never complained when they went off sex because they had a headache – you would have just given them an aspirin. They never appreciated the shoes you bought them, the slippers you left so tidily under their bed, the way you polished their alligator boots and lined up their highest heels. They never understood your loyal, committed soul, even when you read out that Virgo Horoscope for today with such a precise demeanour and so much dedication.
So yes, your heart is broken, dear Virgo and even if you need more than one little plaster to fix it you always have your mind to comfort you, that vibrant, analytical, highly evolved mind that can hone into any problem and dissect it in two seconds flat. You are the one who can find dependable solutions when others are “grasping at straws”. You are the one you can fix that broken electric blanket and grandfather clock with so much dexterity it would even have Einstein doubting his genius.
You are the Messrs. “Fix its” of this world, but few will ever know the majesty of your soul, the depths of your kindness and the breadth of your vision, even those Virgo Horoscopes for today cannot describe such a helpful and giving soul as yours with the right words. May be because they do not “get” the fundamental messiness of this world! But then again, nobody is perfect!